


Unreachable

by calamariqueen



Series: State of Mind [1]
Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Other, PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calamariqueen/pseuds/calamariqueen
Summary: Gary begins to drown in his own thoughts.





	Unreachable

The clock stared at him.

It stared at him as it stretched it’s arms inside of its shell, gleaming as it chimed atop the wall of Gary’s bedroom.

 

It stared at him with intent.

**With purpose** .

 

“ _ Why do you feel this way _ ?”

 

His conscious asked him a question, it’s voice so light not even a feather could compare.

 

“ _ Everywhere you go, you’ve been given nothing but loss _ .”

 

Gary sighed, and stared at the wall.

 

The wall was stoic, bland, dull.

It was something they had in common.

The wall was uninteresting, something no one would even bother to look at.

It was someone who he could depend on, someone who’d never leave his side. 

 

Someone who wouldn’t die on him.

 

“ _ What are you doing, you idiot _ ?”

 

“ _ You’re just gonna stare at a wall like a lunatic _ ?”

 

That’s exactly what he’d do.

 

Avocato wouldn’t understand, Quinn wouldn’t understand, no one would understand.

**They’d all disappear from his grasp at any moment** .

 

“ _ What drives you, huh? _ ”

 

“ _ Do you even have a single ounce of motivation left _ ?”

 

Gary buried his face into his knees.

 

“ _ Exactly _ .”

 

Gary hated this feeling. It always washed up to him at the worst times, times where he felt absolutely terrible-

Helpless, **weak** .

  
  
  


An overwhelming sense of nausea had engulfed Gary. He trembled as he hugged his knees tighter than before. His breathing had become hitched and shallow, his head pulsed and he felt a slight sense of dizziness.

 

**He was never used to this feeling** .

 

“ _ Stop sulking around _ .”

 

“ _ Isn’t there anything better for you to do _ ?”

 

**There wasn’t anything better for him to do, there never was** .

 

**Unless there was something sharp for him to toy with, there was nothing else he could do** .

 

HIs hands trembled in need of a sharp object, the shielded scars on his arms humming a piercing tune. His mind began to race, as if he were in a panic.

 

“ _ There’s nothing for you to do _ .”

 

“ _ He took it all away, remember _ ?”

 

Gary sighed. He remember the HUE had taken all the sharp objects from his room, as a result of a past attempt.

 

He’d still found ways to harm himself despite these things being taken away, but no matter the occasion, HUE had always stopped him from going any further.

 

**In a way, it aggravated him** .

 

“ _ You’re worth nothing to anyone _ .”

 

“ **_You’re a nuisance, you always have been_ ** .”

 

The voices in his head held him by his neck, strangling him constantly.

 

And yet, all he could do was  **scream** .

 

Scream, let out a cry for help.

  
**A cry that’ll never be answered** .

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been interested in the many ways Gary's PTSD is portrayed. This is an experimental drabble of a suicidal Gary plagued by his thoughts. I hope you enjoy!


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